Lately in my mindfulness meditation practice I’ve been tapping into a certain quality of attention….it’s difficult to put into words but if feels something like a beautiful allowance… A serene willingness to just “let be” whatever’s occurring in the moment – whether that’s shallow breathing, tight muscles, a restless, complaining mind or even feelings of bliss or rapture, just letting it be ok, without trying to push, pull or change it in anyway…and more than that even, it’s kind of like a loving embrace of whatever is showing up. And this sense of allowance has this still, spacious, deeply contented quality to it that at its core -to me, at least- feels so…feminine.
Balancing Yang With More Yin
The concepts of yin and yang in ancient Chinese philosophy, (yang being active, dynamic, forceful and masculine, and yin being still, receptive, passive and feminine,) paint a clearer picture of the qualities I’m trying to describe. I feel so much of my day -probably most of our days in modern-day life- is lived from yang energy: busy, moving, pushing through challenges, reaching for goals and trying to get life to conform to how we want it to be. So for me, tapping into this more yin way of being in my meditation practice feels like deep soul-medicine, a huge relief, where I can shift gears completely and tap into this whole other way of being in my life – or at least in my meditation practice sometimes. And the reason why I’m sharing this is I am hoping that if you are new to mindfulness meditation and are not quite sure what it’s all about, that this may expand or add to your definition or understanding.
Mindfulness is Really “Heartfulness”
Mindfulness has been described by wonderful teachers like Dr Jon Kabat-Zinn for example in rather dry but clear terms which is useful to avoid confusion and essential to garnering acceptance in scientific and medical circles…but I feel it doesn’t really get to the true heart-centred essence of mindfulness, for example – Dr Kabat-Zinn describes it as:
“Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.”
Jack Kornfield however, hints at this other element by describing mindfulness as LOVING awareness and I have heard some teachers describes it as “heartfulness” or “kindfulness” which feels closer to my own experience. (And it’s very important to note that mindfulness is a term translated from a Pali word, a language which does not actually have separate words for heart and mind – they are seen as one and the same.)
I have also heard some teachers speak of bringing a compassionate, mother-like quality to your mindful attention…the ability to attend lovingly to whatever is occurring in the present moment without pushing anything away…just as a loving mother would tenderly accept and attend to her crying baby, without trying to force it to be otherwise.
When I was a teenage girl growing up, my spiritual yearning found no place it could call home in patriarchal religion, and I found comfort in exploring Goddess traditions and archetypes. As I got older and matured I no longer felt the need to identify with anything inherently “feminine” on my spiritual quest, I simply wanted to practice… but the sweet irony is my practice seems to be opening me to a new way of being with my world, that I can only describe as divinely feminine.
3 Ways To Let Go and Flow With Life
So how can you bring this more yin quality into your life? Here are 3 simple things (as well as a daily mindfulness meditation practice!) to try out:
1) Understand that “letting go” and “going with the flow” really means “letting be”. Letting ourselves be as we are, letting others be who they are, and letting LIFE be as it is. Yes, we have the power to change many things in our lives, but some things we don’t. Whether we can change something or not, we CAN choose to let go of the internal fight against life, our dogged resistance to WHAT IS. Mentally ACCEPT each moment as it is and then release any internal complaining about a particular situation or take positive action to change it.
2) While there is nothing wrong with having goals and dreams, if we are overly attached to them, life becomes just a means to an end on the journey to getting somewhere “better”. See if you can practice doing tasks with complete presence, focused on the actions in the moment, rather than the outcome. Dedicate your work to others or to simply doing it well, detached from the “fruit of your labour” – this is a very powerful spiritual practice known as karma yoga.
3) Practice living from the heart rather than your head…what does that actually mean? Throughout your day drop your awareness from your busy thinking-mind into the feeling heart-space and feel whatever is there. Whenever you experience strong emotions, whatever they may be, stay centred in your heart, perhaps even place a hand over your heart and breathe into them with a sense of allowance and compassion. And as you interact with others, speak and listen from this heart-space and offer them this same allowance and compassion.
If this resonates with you or if you have your own ways of “letting go & letting be”, please share in the comments below.
❤