We’ve all been sold a great big lie.
Societal values and the media have taught us that there is something lacking within us, an inner emptiness that needs to be filled. A yearning for love. And it is true, we do need love. But we’ve been told that we need a certain kind of love to be happy. We need Prince Charming or the Perfect Woman to fill that empty space inside of us. Without them, we are nothing, with them, we live happily ever after.
This sets us up for unhappiness either way. If we are single we long for our ‘other half’. If we are partnered we wonder if we are with the wrong person once the gooey feelings of infatuation wear off and we are realize we are with an imperfect (but real!) human being. Ultimately we are doomed to fail because we are looking outside of ourselves when love can only come from within.
If you do not love yourself, someone else’s love will never be enough. You will never believe that you are worthy of receiving love, you will always be waiting for the proverbial sh*t to hit the fan. If you don’t treat yourself as the prize that you are, no one else will either.
Self-love is the most important quality you can cultivate, it will determine how you speak and act, how you treat yourself and others, what decisions you will make, in short – it affects EVERYTHING.
Self love begins with authenticity.
Are you afraid of telling your truth? Honouring your feelings? Being who you really are?
Slef love begins with acceptance. Knowing who you are, and being able to say “I’m ok. I have gifts and faults, but I’m me and I accept who I am”.
No more comparing yourself with others. See the uniqueness in yourself, let go of the past and forgive yourself for things you feel you have done wrong. You will become liberated as you set yourself free from other peoples perceived judgements and expectations.
“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
With self-acceptance comes self-respect.
After you begin to accept yourself completely, you start to value this special being that you are. You stand up for yourself when someone does you wrong or crosses your boundaries. You say no when people are demanding more than you want to give.
Self-respect then becomes self-care. Treasuring your body, the vehicle of your soul. Eating well, sleeping well, exercising and dressing well. Treating yourself to a massage. Being kind and gentle with yourself.
Self-care can then flow into self-expression. You begin to find your voice. You become clear on what you want. You find the inner compass that directs you in making your mark on the world. You contribute your special gift that you came to earth to give.
And finally, when you love yourself, you can truly receive love from others. You can believe it when someone tells you they love you, because you know it is true. You know you deserve to be loved, that you are more than worthy. You attract people into your life who treat you well because you have a new standard of love and respect. You allow yourself to enjoy and revel in another’s love, knowing that it is simply a reflection of the love that already exists in you.
And finally, you begin to see the love all around you: you realise love is the fabric of the universe, and that you are just one, beautifully unique strand co-creating love as your divine birthright.